Part 2: Confessions of a Reformed Control Freak

The top ten assumptions managers don't want to make.

This is the second part of a two-part series taken from excerpts of my soon-to-be-published book, "Confessions of a Reformed Control Freak - The Top Ten Assumptions Managers Don't Want to Make". I wrote the book with the hope that first-time managers, would gain some valuable insight into what it takes to be an effective manager. Daniel Goleman, in his groundbreaking book, "Working With Emotional Intelligence" said it best: "We are being judged by a new yardstick: Not just by how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also by how well we handle ourselves and each other."

You aren't born knowing how to manage people effectively. We all start out making certain assumptions based on our own perceptions of what a manager should be. But our perceptions can be wrong. I hope you are able to learn from my mistakes.

Confession #6: Park your ego at the door; it's not about being right.

If you need to prove that you're always right, then you're in the wrong place. Productivity is still the name of the game. Minimize the input and maximize the output. You're the manager so you're going to get the credit. But the more you allow people to be involved in the process, the more apt they are to come along. Get caught up on the end result, not so much on how you're going to get there.

Confession #7: You can't control everything all the time.

You must give up control to get control. (Delegate - delegate - delegate. I really can't say it enough.) You can't control everything all the time because it's bigger than you are. Your role as a manager is to give your people the tools and then get out of their way. You're going to have to trust your people that they can do the job they where hired to do in the first place.

Confession #8: You can't demand respect. Respect is reciprocal.

If you study Maslow's Needs Theory you'll discover that one of the basic needs all humans have is the need to be acknowledged. (I call it #2 with a bullet.) The need to be recognized. (That's why using a person's first name is so powerful.) By treating people respectfully, you are saying you value them as a person. Remember, you get what you give.

Confession #9: You hear what you see, not what you say.

You must lead by setting the right example. Your people play follow-the-leader. You communicate 97 percent of the time, not by what you say, but by how you say it. Ninety-seven percent of communication is non-verbal. It's true that pictures are worth a thousand words. People do what people see.

Confession #10: There aren't any negatives; everything is a positive.

It just depends on how you want to react to a given situation. It's a choice that only you can make. It's the one thing that no one can take away from you. "Everything can be taken from man but one thing: The last of all human freedoms - to choose one's attitudes in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's way." (Viktor Frankl - Man's Search For Meaning.) If it doesn't kill you, it truly makes you stronger. Attitude really is everything.

For those who may have missed Part 1 of this article, you can find it here: Confessions of a Reformed Control Freak - Part 1

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